We have all heard the phrase “I am terrified of the dentist”. It is not an irregular phrase, but it should be one less heard and said. Therefore, I believe in sharing one particular timeline in my past, and my experience today that has completely changed my viewpoint on seeing the dentist.
I had a whirlwind of trauma with my mouth as a child that gave me a substantial level of fear. And that followed me until I started working at TDS. When I was under a year old, I developed an abnormally serious case of Thrush that kept me in the hospital for a lengthy amount of time. Months supposedly. My mom claims it was a near death experience, but I think she refers to herself being the mom whose baby did not feel good.
When I was barely three years old, my aunt took me to the park. I always ask her to tell me this story, and every single time I am in disbelief that my smile looks the way it does today. She said I was old enough to walk around, but young enough to still be taken in a stroller, so let's say I was three. I was on a bar swing, and I just happened to go face first into the pole, smashing my mouth. From my aunt's point of view, she said I looked just fine. My baby teeth were still there, but I kept crying for days. No blood, no cracks or chips, just a lot of pain. Turns out, that swing happened to shove the direction of my upper teeth backwards! I was one lucky bug to have only had them shoved in a different direction. When I was five or six years old, In order to protect my little chompers, they put silver crowns on all of them. Just because I’m talking about myself, I feel I’m allowed to say I looked so crazy! I was rocking a grill for a large portion of my childhood, I’m just glad they were temporary teeth.
I managed to grow up without the need for braces, which was sheer luck! I truly believe I pulled the sparkle card with that. As a bonus, my memory escapes me mostly with these events. But they surely followed me into my childhood years out of habit. Around the fourth grade, I was OBSESSED with pickles. Borderline obsessed. I ate them so much I started to develop an abscess on a tooth that resulted in not one, not even two, but THREE root canals! And believe me, I remember all of that. On top of it all, they put a silver crown on that stayed with me to my recent days. I became the child that would not even open my mouth unless I knew every single tool that was going in, why it was going in there, what it was going to do, how long it would be in there, etc. I was so over the dentist it got to the point I refused to go. Which resulted in a relatively far from healthy smile, and poor hygiene habits.
Before I started working here at the ever so Life-Changing office of Tribeca Dental Studio, I NEVER had a cleaning. Or if I did, it was before my root canal days. I brushed often because I can't stand the feeling of gunk on my teeth, but did I floss? Nope. Did I pay attention to what I was eating and how it would hurt my teeth? Of course not. Did I realize what I had done when I started working here. . oh honey yes.
Since my employment, I have had five cavity fillings, an onlay, two crowns, and two cleanings. Ooh did I kick myself in the but for a while, but now I feel like the most comfortable, confident version of myself. In the beginning it was a little rough. I went into full blown auto-pilot. I trusted them for their education, but I would clutch the arms of my chair for dear life when I saw a needle or drill within inches of my eyesight. Thankfully, miracle workers operate under this roof. Now when I'm in the chair, I close my eyes and let them have a party. I cannot stress enough the amount of undeniable trust I have with these Doctors after all the work they have done for me so far. For years, that silver crown gave me so much insecurity. I wouldn't smile fully in photos, I wouldn’t sing up close on film. If there was even the slightest visual of silver, it wouldn’t go public. For sixteen years, I had that crown. Sixteen. The day Dr. Kim replaced it with porcelain, I went straight to the mirror and nearly cried. I’ve always felt comfortable with my smile and my body for the most part, I am a firm believer in loving yourself the way you are. When I saw myself for the first time with a fully restored smile, I felt so beautiful it was almost astounding.
Now, remember when I said I went my whole life without the need to align my smile? The time has finally come. With my Conservatory education and obsession with speech, I was asked by the lovely Dr. Nina Izhaky if I would be interested in Brius in order to study how I could adjust my speech over time. Brius is a form of smile alignment that goes behind the teeth, AKA lingual braces. When Brius was first introduced to the world, the idea that it could affect the way we speak in daily life was very intriguing to me. In school I studied the art of manipulating the tongue and mouth to correct speech extensively. Naturally, I thought it would be thrilling to see how my education could help with my treatment. My studies were mostly for performance purposes, but it was a magical discovery that inspired the use of that training in my daily life. Nowadays I pay attention to every word that comes out, because I want to be heard clearly and precisely. Lingual braces are in direct contact with the tongue, thus creating a temporary hurdle with speech at first, but a fun obstacle for me. If you work from home, don’t speak much for work, or if you are confident with having a slight speech issue for a couple weeks, it’s an easy adjustment. However, if you literally paid to speak consistently, or you are an artist like me, no lies here it could be a hurdle. I accepted the challenge, because I want to experience it myself and maybe have the opportunity to help others develop trust in the process. I’m sure I am going to have my challenges, but this is temporary. It’s a temporary process that produces the forever results that I have always craved desperately.
Here’s where it gets tricky. When I was ready to start the process, we found out I was not an eligible candidate because my mouth was too small. Let me start by saying, in the context of being an entertainer and being a loud mouth in general, I’ve never been given that comment before in my life. Because of my supposed small mouth, in order to be eligible for Brius, I need a palette expander. Fam, when I heard that news I thought all the marbles in my brain took a hike. My mind was saying, “No way sis. No thank you.” My inner fourth grader thought the world was ending, the apocalypse is here, I am about to be tortured with a metal appliance on the roof of my mouth. I’m not saying any of this to scare you, but honesty is the key. I want you to TRUST IN THE PROCESS. How are you supposed to trust in anyone who doesn’t tell the truth? I am here to help you jump through the hoops of dental health, and in doing that, I wanted to share my story in learning to trust the dentist again. No matter how rough it started, I am happy I went from fearsome to fearless.
Back to the palate expander. My first instinct was to back out immediately. I was mentally done with large scale dental treatment, I’ve had my fill. However, I genuinely care about helping people. How am I supposed to be helpful if I am not willing to do what is necessary to do just that? I decided to put my fears aside, and reconsider. Immediately following, Dr. Lena Sapozhnikov - who is the spearhead of my ortho treatment - mentioned it would improve my airways, thus assisting in the improvement of my vocal range. Now why didn’t I hear that sooner! If this appliance is going to improve the very skill that I live for, sign me up! I’m sure it’s going to be an intriguing start, but as I said before, it’s a temporary solution to forever results.
Looking back, I am so lucky to have regained trust in dentistry. Take it from the six year old who was rocking a silver grill. It might not be easy, but it’s worth it. Trust in the Doctors, and trust in the process.
With Love and Health,
Haylee Grosvenor